Paper Moon

By Alan Coren

"Leave your husband holding the baby and have a glamorous weekend away with Look! Just imagine-- first class travel to London, luxuriating in one of London's top hotels, dining with celebrities, picking the brains of beauty experts. Perhaps a little shopping could be fitted in. Chic shops like Yves Saint Laurent, Chloe, Fiorucci, Browns are minutes away, or there's a free Red Rover bus ticket to trundle you farther afield. Theo a theatre, and afterwards a nightcap with our editor Harold Evans in the Sunday Times boardroom and a copy of the paper hot from the presses to take back to read in bed at the Westbury. On Sunday, lunch with Jilly Cooper and other contributors; if you're not fiagging, there's a visit to the Viking Exhibition at the British Museum. The cost of the entire weekend is f,85. And there's a bonus. W e'd like your husband to keep a diary of bis weekend coping alone. The best we'll publish."

Kiwi Polish

By Robert Morley

SATURDA YS are by tradition quiet days in New Zealand. ln Auckland everything closes down by noon on Fridays to enable the inhabitants to get clear of the place in good time. Visitors from Singapore and even Fiji search in vain for the slightest sign of jollification. Here are no massage parlours, no public squares filled with the Gay Transvestite crowd.

A likely story

By Keith Waterhouse

What knickers in what glove compartment?

Pillow Talk

By Jonathan Sale

Is it the gift of the gab that has the lovelies beating on your bedroom door? If it is, then how is the gab made gabbier? The answer seemed to be lurking way down among the Private Eye small ads: "Witty author gives private lessons on the Art of Conversation in Pimlico home." A course in talking, and in Pimlico to boot! I wrote at once to Box 670.

Radio Play

By Jack Trevor


Alda Latest

By David Taylor

From fun surgery with M*A*S*H, ALAN ALDA has written and stars in a new movie that makes fun of Washington's disease. ln London for the premiere, he talks to DAVID TAYLOR

Random Sample

By Paul Jennings

Well it 's nota lapse ifsurely doubt it isn't only Mr the fact is ail of us Stoppard, not to mention are now being subjected Grahame Greene's essential quiver of doubt to a the current vogue for spy so that is matched by ambivalence of in which clear moral right of ambivalence values of plot does not attach to either side. There are no longer clear-cut and the curious fascination of "moles" goodies and baddies which Le suddenly a word you see everywhere expressing this moral Carré is the practitioner-in is reflected in a corresponding development of ambivalent-in-chief, so that moral "boundaries" no longer oflanguage also.